So I haven't posted for reals because I forgot how to get in here, and because I've been saving up for a good post. Lame excuses, I know. So, where am I right now?
I have come a long way from wayfaring child to less wayfaring semi-adult. I have been blessed with super awesome parents that taught me some valuable lessons that I accepted as fact at the time, and now I'm grateful that I did because I see the benefits now. So I had a very good base to begin with in childhood. Unfortunately, my inquisitive mind and independent nature led to some stupid moves that slowed spiritual progression. I am glad that there is such a thing as forgiveness from above and here below because it makes mistakes actually useful instead of ultimately destructive. So I survived childhood.
I'm glad I was independent (and introverted) in some ways because it made it easy to make friends I could happily keep. Because I felt no need to change my values to get more friends, I secured myself a cool group of diverse people with cool values and uplifting traits. I doubt it was all my cunning and skill that led to this, but it's fun to pretend like I set it all up myself. I do appreciate you people that were my friends because life would have been lame and not nearly as enjoyable or instructive. Our school wouldn't really be considered a breeding ground for good morals, but that doesn't mean some of you couldn't really stand out and make good morals look, well, good. It's a lot easier to do what's right when all of your friends are cheering you on in that direction.
I wouldn't really consider myself a spiritual giant, but I don't think I'm doing too bad these days. Some things I still struggle with like not saying sarcastic things that could be hurtful. But I do like reading some scriptural material and engaging in deep discussions about our faith etc. Luckily there is room for improvement and always will be for an eternity. That should keep eternal life interesting.
My greatest discovery over the past little while is that Satan is real and powerful, but also that the Spirit is really important and Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father have all power and all knowledge and the ability to save and overcome the Evil One. I have been taking a mission prep Institute class of late. There I learned how important the Spirit is--like: if ye have not the Spirit, ye shall not teach. It's kind of a big deal! It makes all the difference because it validates truth and guides toward righteousness. I feel like that is pretty much what life is about. So having the Spirit at all times means we are succeeding at life. We will be clean, taking the Sacrament, and engaging in good works continually. I had kind of always left the Holy Ghost out of the Godhead when I thought about the Godhead and how important they are. So yeah, the Spirit is important as is Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.
So, I think Satan had been really trying to make me doubt my testimony as I approached this mission thing. Testimony is kind of an important piece when preaching the gospel, so it makes sense he would try to confuse me that way. But luckily the Spirit can do kind of whatever he pleases, including overriding the influences of evil. He is kind of super awesome in that sense. So as I was bearing my testimony without preparation one recent Sunday, I was searching for what to say that wouldn't sound like some rehearsed "I believe this and this and this...." But my mind was just a bunch of muddled up whatever. So I thought back to earlier in the block during Sacrament meeting when we had sung the Spirit of God. It had almost felt like angels were singing it with us, and I was reminded of the Dedication of the Kirtland temple. Pretty much it just felt really good and spiritual. So I wanted to convey that to the people I was bearing my testimony to. So I mentioned that having the spirit is important hoping that the Spirit would fill me so I could testify of some neat stuff and sit down.
Finally it came! And I don't really remember all I said except at the end when I thought of the Atonement and how I had used it. Suddenly I was hit really hard with the Holy Ghost and I had a hard time speaking, so I just said "I am grateful for the Atonement and how it has had an effect on my life." But I had a feeling that made me feel like all those times I had used the Atonement, I had actually been made clean. I also felt like the Atonement is definitely real and infinite and so necessary and underused (by me in particular, but I don't doubt that it is applicable to most others). So I sat down and felt that the stupid influences of Satan had been broken and that I knew that I had someone in heaven that loved me and intended me to be happy.
So my message to you is be happy and seek the Spirit for it will tell you all things which you should do. You will be blessed. Fear not, for the Lord is with thee, and if He be with us, then who can stand against us? Onward Christian Soldiers!
