The Farewell

It was awesome. I thought my talk was for the benefit of others, but it ended up being more for me. I couldn't stop that powerful feeling from overtaking me. It felt really good, oh so good! If everyone would have felt as good as I did, then there would have been some serious edifying going on! My favorite part of my talk was my unplanned part which came after the story of the faithful brethren trekking miles on empty stomachs through jungle and streams. It made me want to be more committed and always do what's right.

So that night a paradigm shift occurred in my mind. I have always been selfish and seeking to do my will first and then that of the Lord's. Sometimes I will do service when I don't feel like it, but not too often. I was my own master, individual and independent. But that just won't suffice. If I want to be truly successful and attain all there is to have, I must submit my will to the Father's. It obviously won't be a night and day transformation, but I hope to get in the habit of always being ready to do what I am asked and doing it before or instead of what I would rather do.

The end is almost here! I won't see so many people for two or more years.... So God be with you 'til we meet again!

Here I Am

So I haven't posted for reals because I forgot how to get in here, and because I've been saving up for a good post. Lame excuses, I know. So, where am I right now?

I have come a long way from wayfaring child to less wayfaring semi-adult. I have been blessed with super awesome parents that taught me some valuable lessons that I accepted as fact at the time, and now I'm grateful that I did because I see the benefits now. So I had a very good base to begin with in childhood. Unfortunately, my inquisitive mind and independent nature led to some stupid moves that slowed spiritual progression. I am glad that there is such a thing as forgiveness from above and here below because it makes mistakes actually useful instead of ultimately destructive. So I survived childhood.

I'm glad I was independent (and introverted) in some ways because it made it easy to make friends I could happily keep. Because I felt no need to change my values to get more friends, I secured myself a cool group of diverse people with cool values and uplifting traits. I doubt it was all my cunning and skill that led to this, but it's fun to pretend like I set it all up myself. I do appreciate you people that were my friends because life would have been lame and not nearly as enjoyable or instructive. Our school wouldn't really be considered a breeding ground for good morals, but that doesn't mean some of you couldn't really stand out and make good morals look, well, good. It's a lot easier to do what's right when all of your friends are cheering you on in that direction.

I wouldn't really consider myself a spiritual giant, but I don't think I'm doing too bad these days. Some things I still struggle with like not saying sarcastic things that could be hurtful. But I do like reading some scriptural material and engaging in deep discussions about our faith etc. Luckily there is room for improvement and always will be for an eternity. That should keep eternal life interesting.

My greatest discovery over the past little while is that Satan is real and powerful, but also that the Spirit is really important and Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father have all power and all knowledge and the ability to save and overcome the Evil One. I have been taking a mission prep Institute class of late. There I learned how important the Spirit is--like: if ye have not the Spirit, ye shall not teach. It's kind of a big deal! It makes all the difference because it validates truth and guides toward righteousness. I feel like that is pretty much what life is about. So having the Spirit at all times means we are succeeding at life. We will be clean, taking the Sacrament, and engaging in good works continually. I had kind of always left the Holy Ghost out of the Godhead when I thought about the Godhead and how important they are. So yeah, the Spirit is important as is Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.
So, I think Satan had been really trying to make me doubt my testimony as I approached this mission thing. Testimony is kind of an important piece when preaching the gospel, so it makes sense he would try to confuse me that way. But luckily the Spirit can do kind of whatever he pleases, including overriding the influences of evil. He is kind of super awesome in that sense. So as I was bearing my testimony without preparation one recent Sunday, I was searching for what to say that wouldn't sound like some rehearsed "I believe this and this and this...." But my mind was just a bunch of muddled up whatever. So I thought back to earlier in the block during Sacrament meeting when we had sung the Spirit of God. It had almost felt like angels were singing it with us, and I was reminded of the Dedication of the Kirtland temple. Pretty much it just felt really good and spiritual. So I wanted to convey that to the people I was bearing my testimony to. So I mentioned that having the spirit is important hoping that the Spirit would fill me so I could testify of some neat stuff and sit down.
Finally it came! And I don't really remember all I said except at the end when I thought of the Atonement and how I had used it. Suddenly I was hit really hard with the Holy Ghost and I had a hard time speaking, so I just said "I am grateful for the Atonement and how it has had an effect on my life." But I had a feeling that made me feel like all those times I had used the Atonement, I had actually been made clean. I also felt like the Atonement is definitely real and infinite and so necessary and underused (by me in particular, but I don't doubt that it is applicable to most others). So I sat down and felt that the stupid influences of Satan had been broken and that I knew that I had someone in heaven that loved me and intended me to be happy.

So my message to you is be happy and seek the Spirit for it will tell you all things which you should do. You will be blessed. Fear not, for the Lord is with thee, and if He be with us, then who can stand against us? Onward Christian Soldiers!

The Miracle of Forgiveness

I today finished reading this fantastic book The Miracle of Forgiveness in order to better myself and to help turn away from sin.  This book is not fantastic because it is a "feel good" experiences, however it gives clairvoyance to matters on repentance and forgiveness.  Most of what I will say will come from what Spencer W. Kimball and others have written in this book, because there can be no one better then a Prophet of God to explain.

This book takes us through the steps of repentance and gives many examples of situations in which people have succeeded, and most of all come to realize their own need for repentance.  Through recognizing our sins and changing our ways we will have the blessings of heaven upon us.  I feel the most crucial and most emphasized point in this book is the difficulty of escaping sin.  How it can entangle us especially sins that are more serious in nature.  We must do Everything, Everything possible to escape, and even that is not enough.  Only through the atonement can we be saved.  "It is easy for children to try. . . . . But adults, who have gone through these learning periods, must determine what they will do, then proceed to do it.  President Kimball said the following things.  To "try" is weak.  To "do the best I can" is not strong.  We must always do better than we can. . . . . With the inspiration from the Lord we can rise higher than our individual powers, extend far beyond our own personal potential."  He gives us even more hope by saying.  "There is virtually nothing that a man cannot turn away from if he really wants to. . . . There is virtually no habit that he cannot give up if he sincerely sets his will to do so."

In order to achieve this Repentance we must truly humble ourselves and have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  If we all were to have this humility about us we would be able to have the spirit of the Lord to help us in all our shortcomings.  I am very grateful for the story of Alma in the scriptures, and even though he sought to destroy the church he was forgiven.  If we learn anything from his own experience we know that man can be forgiven and the difficulty there is to obtain that forgiveness.  He was racked with the pains of hell, remember all his sins,  and had to cry to God to be forgiven.  Then the best part of the story comes.  After receiving forgiveness the pains of death and hell had no more grasp on him.  His Joy and Happiness was as great as was his pain before forgiveness.  We ALL can feel that same comfort

WE CAN FIND HOPE IN REPENTANCE!!  "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat."  Even though this book talks of the many ways that we can sin against our Father in Heaven, its purpose is illustrated clearly in its last chapter.  After all our tears, and anguish, and suffering from the pains of Hell, we can and will be forgiven if we can accept and act upon the values of Jesus Christ!  In his 3rd to last paragraph President Kimball  states, "What relief!  What comfort! What Joy!  Those laden with transgressions and sorrows and sin may be forgiven and cleansed and purified if they will return to their Lord, learn of him, and keep his commandments.  And all of us needing to repent of day-to-day follies and weaknesses can likewise share in this miracle."

I am beginning to find my testimony even more so of repentance and have faith in its truthfulness.  I would encourage all who have the desire to read this to do so and promise it will strengthen everyone who will read accompanied with a sincere prayer to better themselves.

With a Broken Heart and Contrite spirit
Elder Wilson